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    Home » pondering

    By Amanda Smyth 17 Comments

    the world is still a good place, the 09/09/14 edition

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    Today is David’s third anniversary.  It seems incredible to me that we have survived three whole years without him.

    Today I will be unguarded in my sorrow.  I've come to learn that if I don't take the time to grieve, it catches up with me at the least convenient times.

    On Friday I fell through the rabbit hole and into my first blog which I started in 2008.  (It's sole focus was distributing baby spam to our siblings who were then spread across the globe.)  I discovered a video of David pretending to pack the Big Sister into a suitcase to take her with him to Indonesia.  He kissed her three times in the space of that 25 second video.  I sat at the computer weeping and wishing she remembered how fiercely he loved her.  I imagine it’s all the distant past when you’re six.  Next month he’ll have been gone from us than the 1142 days she had with him.

    Then I came across this beauty.  Uncle Davo attempting to chance the Big Sister's nappy sometime in 2009.  I cried and laughed and cried. a lot.  So tremendous is this loss that I sometimes cannot bear the fact I will never again here that silly, high-pitched laugh.

    Tonight we'll share David's favourite meal, beef stroganoff, howl at the super moon and pray he persists somewhere safe and happy.

    how have you been?

    what are you up to today?

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    Comments

    1. Robyna says

      September 09, 2014 at 6:35 am

      Thinking of David with you today Amanada. These gifts from the past are so precious, and at the same time so bitter sweet - I am so glad you have them though. Will light a candle for him tonight.

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        September 09, 2014 at 3:25 pm

        Thanks Robyna. x

        Reply
    2. moodiefoodiejay says

      September 09, 2014 at 6:59 am

      With you today xo

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        September 09, 2014 at 3:25 pm

        Thanks Jay x

        Reply
    3. Kirsten and co. says

      September 09, 2014 at 7:14 am

      xox

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        September 09, 2014 at 3:25 pm

        Thanks Kirsten. x

        Reply
    4. Have A Laugh On Me says

      September 09, 2014 at 9:24 am

      I have goosebumps watching this - it's such great footage to have.. thanks for sharing this special moment with us. Hugs my friend xxx

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        September 09, 2014 at 3:25 pm

        Thanks Em. x

        Reply
    5. Wendy S says

      September 09, 2014 at 10:11 am

      So glad that you have videos of your brother to watch again and again and share with your girls.
      Thinking of you today.

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        September 09, 2014 at 3:24 pm

        Thanks Wendy. x

        Reply
    6. Robyn says

      September 09, 2014 at 10:46 am

      Oh man that video just had me crying at laughing! I couldn't imagine the loss honey. Big hugs xx

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        September 09, 2014 at 3:24 pm

        Thanks Robyn. Hope things are well with the patient. x

        Reply
    7. Bec Thexton says

      September 09, 2014 at 3:45 pm

      Hugs, thoughts and good vibes your way. Enjoy the heck out of the Beef strog for him <3 Bec x

      Reply
    8. claireyhewitt01 says

      September 09, 2014 at 7:31 pm

      Amanda, what a precious bit of footage to have of David. I was laughing as I watched, and it feels like he is still here, just away and out of wifi range for awhile.

      If only this was true.

      Anniversaries are so hard, but they are also the time when you can just take the time to remember your stories, feast on special meals and remind your kids of how lucky they are to have been the ones to have David as their uncle and be bathed in his love...not all uncles deal with poo with such humour.
      xx

      Reply
    9. SIL says

      September 09, 2014 at 11:30 pm

      Love that video- makes me laugh, smile, cry and smile again! Hope your memories will always leave you smiling too! xx

      Reply
    10. Kristy @ Loulou Zoo says

      September 10, 2014 at 6:09 pm

      Big hugs to you today - thank you for sharing something so personal x

      Reply
    11. Dawn Pereira says

      September 11, 2014 at 11:30 pm

      Oh that was so funny. Made me laugh and then cry to see David in that video. He was such a character. Will never forget him. Sending you lots of hugs.

      Reply

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