Today is David’s birthday.
When he first moved to Indonesia, we threw a birthday dinner for him in his absence. I printed a life-sized photo of his head onto some cardboard and we dressed up the back of a chair like he was there. I made him a cake and we lit candles and sang happy birthday and sent him the video to show him how we were getting on without him.
Now, we’re getting on without him forever and I would do anything to be able to send him a message to tell him how much I miss him. To tell him how watching the love my girls have for each other sometimes makes my insides ache. To get a reply “Oh, come on Flossie. I’m alright babe.”
He would have turned 32 today. I need to tell you how old he would have been. I don’t know why. I’m trying to remember to be grateful to have had such a wonderful man for a brother, instead of feeling cheated for not having him now. So for entirely selfish reasons, here's seven reasons why the world is still a good place today.
1. The fire wheel tree is flowering. They’re such a marvel of nature. You can’t help but smile when you look at them. 
2. The Big Sister is loving school. I overheard her teacher speaking so kindly to the kids during the week. I can tell she’s in the right spot. 
3. I spent the weekend in the company of good friends, old and new. We laughed, we ate fancy pants food and, because the kids weren’t there, we finished entire conversations.
4. My snake wrangling skills are rusty, but haven’t entirely deserted me. Which is something to be grateful for since we opened the snaky smorgasbord built the chook house.
5. I found a good second hand upright freezer on gumtree, so we can finally turn the chest freezer with the irreplaceable seal off. Hear that hissing sound? It’s not coming from the chook house, it’s our power bill deflating.
6. My childless BFF, her fella, Bearhands and I booked an impromptu weekend away to Hamilton Island yesterday. We leave in a fortnight! Bearhands is excited about playing a fancy pants golf course up there and the idea of spending an afternoon lazing around a swim up bar has me frothing at the mouth.
7. Lucy the calf continues to thrive. She has adopted Ant as her mummy. It's all a bit cute. My soon-to-be Sister in law filmed this little video of Ant and Lucy mooing at each other when they moved Lucy between paddocks at the farm. I dare you not to smile!
So that's it. Seven reasons for me not to mope around today. Seven reasons why the world is still a good place despite missing the beautiful birthday boy.
Jess says
That birthday dinner I still have videos of. And well I did have smile on my face, Lucy is one spoilt calf. I am sure David will have a beer in his hand playing golf somewhere today.
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
Lucy is one lucky lady Jess. Enjoy your holiday. x
Sarah @ SlapdashMama says
xxx
I am in a very sad place with my own almost 32 year old brother who is a very difficult person. In fact I have very limited contact with him. I went to visit him in Melbourne with my mother this weekend to try and connect with him, but I actually think I have finally exhausted all the energy I have left for him. It is such a sadness in my life at the moment.
You were so lucky to have such a wonderful brother. I am so sorry he is gone but the love you had is gold. Thinking of you today.
Sarah @ SlapdashMama says
PS sorry if that was depressing. It's not exactly highlighting the good things in life! Life is definitely good! New dresses, coffee, sleeping babies! What more does one need?
Beth Mantle says
Hi Sarah, I realise I don't know you at all but I wanted to thank you for writing what you did.
I don't have a close relationship with my only brother either and reading Amanda's posts about David make me 1) wonder what on earth a respect/love/friendship with a sibling would be like and 2) sad that I will never (for many reasons) have that kind of relationship with mine.
But I love reading Amanda's posts about David because I hope that one day my children (I've only just started - my eldest is 20 weeks in-utero!) will love each other like that, and grow together and support each other through thick and thin. And that is something that I can try and make happen! Which is a Good Thing. 🙂
Beth
xx
Sarah @ SlapdashMama says
Oh thank you for writing this too Beth! I often wonder exactly the same and wonder how it ended up like this. I have two little children, a big girl and a littler boy, the same as me and my brother, and I hope like you do that they will love and support each other. I really really really do.
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
Such exciting times ahead for you Beth. I hope your little family is as lucky as mine. xx
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
I was so lucky to have him Sarah and I'm acutely aware that I do him a disservice when I mope around on his birthday. I'm sorry you're going through a tough spot with your brother. I can't imagine what it's like, but I imagine it's like grief.
Thinking of you today too. xx
Robyn (Mrs D) says
This whole post made me smile. Happy Birthday David. I'm having a very happy week this week - no reason in particular, just everything is ticking along beautifully and everyone is smiling :)) x
Carla says
Happy birthday David. Hugs to you Amanda, and nice to see you are spending the day in as much a positive light as you can.
Brothers can be such fun characters in families. You must miss him terribly x
Mumabulous says
It's beautiful that your family can honour your brother's memory in such a way. On a lighter note we did Hammo last year. A boozy afternoon at the yacht club is a must. Love to you.
Have a laugh on me says
Thinking of you and wishing your wee bro a Happy Birthday. I can't wait until my boys have Maddi as such an awesome big sister as you so obviously are. Sometimes it's hard to believe the world is still a good place I agree. VERY VERY excited you are going to Hammo, love last minute getaways!! And don't laugh, but I almost shed a tear seeing that footage, love me mooing cows, reminds me of my old farm back in NZ xx
Dawn Pereira says
Thank you for keeping David's memory alive, although I did remember his birthday and thought of you all and sent you lots of positive energy. Happy Birthday David , I know he will be somewhere happy having a great time looking down on you all with that cheeky smile on his face and of couse a beer in his hand.