Have you seen the promo for the new Channel Ten show "Don't tell the bride?" The premise is that grooms are given $25,000 and carte blanche to plan their wedding - all without any input from the bride. It got Bearhands and I talking the other night - would I have agreed to such a proposition back then? Absolutely not! But in hindsight it would have been fine. We would still have 'got the job done', plus we could have spent Channel 10's cash, instead of our parents' hard earned.
On the topic of weddings, I recently had the pleasure of discovering a blog called Bridal Anxiety by the very clever Nita Green. I was taken in particular by her post about being told that her wedding day is the most important day of her life. She writes beautifully and eloquently about the most important days in her life up until now, and it got me to thinking.....
Was my wedding day the most important day of my life?
Not on your nelly!
Now before I get in trouble here, our wedding day was one of the most important days of my live, but truthfully? Bearhands and I had made our promises to each other, long before we stood in front of Fr Stan and exchanged vows.
So Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls - for your reading pleasure I give you (in chronological order) the most important days of my life so far:
The Day in Year Nine when Miss Harrison told me she thought I was clever enough to attend a summer science school.
In a few short moments, she changed the course of my life and the beautiful science nerd emerged from her lazy underachieving chrysalis.
The Day I danced to Bob Marley in a bush nightclub in Faranfangana, Madagascar.
Standing about a foot taller than the locals, rocking out to Get Up Stand Up with a Brazilian and a Pom - sounds like the set up for a joke right? We were having a break from an Earthwatch research trip investigating Black and White Ruffed Lemurs and their response to their rainforest being decimated by a cyclone. Feeling so foreign and so immersed in local life, it still brings a smile to my face. That night is my ultimate travel moment so far.
The Day I packed in my job for a life with Bearhands.
Packing in my promising mining career to move to the Sunshine Coast to start a business with Bearhands was a nerve-wracking time. A lot of my colleagues were disapproving. What had I worked and studied so hard for? I cried when I told my long-term boss and he assumed I'd been harassed at my new post. Not so, I was pretty sure I'd seen my future, and it was on the Coast with this bloke.
The Day Bearhands and I moved onto the farm.
Our lovely friends and family had helped us shift from our rented Buderim house to our new home. Then they departed and Bearhands and I were left sitting on eskies on the veranda, listening to the silence, looking at the stars and (I was) wondering if we could really pull this off. This day is also important to me, because one of the beautiful blokes who helped us move in died last year. He was always keen to see us succeed and helping us move was just one way he showed us how much he cared.
The Days our daughters were born.
Two different deliveries, two very different stories, but two beautiful happy endings. Meeting our daughters has been the most amazing experiences. Bearhands makes a noise when he sees our babies for the first time - I've never heard it outside of the delivery room - it's a mix of excitement, joy and relief, and it makes me love him even more.
The Days after my brother David died.
The day the rescue crew reached the crash site and we finally learned that David and his co-pilot Tomas hadn't made it. The day the weather finally cleared and they were able to lift the boys out by helicopter. The day when my remaining family returned home to Australia with David. The day we finally laid him to rest. I learned so much about myself over these days. I learned that I married well. I learned that my in-laws are family. I learned about real friendship. I started learning about grief. I learned how strong my family are. I learned the value of faith. I learned that we're made for eternity but only here for a short time.
So that's my list so far, no doubt there will be countless more important days - happy ones and sad ones. But that's my list today.
Kelsey Wallace says
Well said mate xxx
cookerandalooker says
Thanks Kels! x
Beth Mantle says
Gosh, your posts bring tears to my eyes! This time not from laughter but from emotion! Your experiences, the best days of your life, are just beautiful. Poignant, simple, authentic.
My wedding day was beautiful but my marriage didn't last. Not for any awful reason - we just didn't love each other the way a married couple should. And so you have encouraged me to think about the best days of my life... it may take a little time because, as you have so eloquently shown me, they are not always the really flashy, ceremonious events. But I'm going to enjoy thinking about and recording them somewhere. Just in case someone, someday, wants to know... 🙂
cookerandalooker says
Thank you for this thoughtful comment Beth. Once I started thinking about my most important days I was surprised by some of them. Plus it's fun thinking about the swag of days that almost make the list.
I hope you write your list and I, for one, would love to know what your most important days are. x
Dawn Pereira says
Reading about the most important days in your life brought tears to my eyes too. It made me feel privileged to have been able to share some of those important days in your life. I love reading your blogs as you always leave me with something to think about. You and your family will always have a special place in our hearts.
Sonia Life Love Hiccups says
What a gorgeous first post to discover you by. I loved our wedding day, but given the option to do it all over again, I would much prefer an intimate little gathering. Thanks for linking up today Amanda xx
cookerandalooker says
Hi Sonia, thanks for hosting the Blog catch up - I'm new to this, so I'm loving finding like-minded blogs. Look forward to reading more of your hiccups!
mumabulous says
What a lovely post. I agree with 100% that weddings (although important milestones) are overrated. By far the most important days of my life were the births of my daughters.
All the best
Mumabulous@mum-abulous.com
Cass says
I just found your blog through Liz at RT, and am really enjoying it. you made me think and i guess for me the most important day in my life, was the week my sister died, i look back and can't believe i could be so calm and do everything i did while i wanted to scream inside, the night i gave her a painkiller because the pain was so bad and i asked her to open her mouth to show me she had swallowed it and she did and then she said "kiss" one of the last things she ever said to me - i will never forget that moment and how much i loved her - Thankyou for giving me that realisation
cookerandalooker says
Hi Cass,
Thank you for this comment. I appreciate how tough it must have been to write.
The death of a sibling is such a difficult thing to survive. We have the very reasonable expectation that we'll share our whole lives with our brothers/sisters. They leave such a gaping hole after they're gone.
I hope you take comfort in the care you showed your sister in her last days - what a wonderful way to have demonstrated how much you loved her.
I'm thinking of you tonight. x
cookerandalooker says
PS. Say hi to the lovely Lizzie for me. x
Catherine Rodie Blagg says
Really thought proviking post, and not what I thought at all from the first few lines (I thought you were going to do a 'what hubby would have done with the cash' type post). Love the bit about you dancing with the locals in Madagascar - I could totally picture it!
My wedding day wasn't the most important day of my life either, but definitely one of the happiest. Nothing compares to the days my babies were born xx
cookerandalooker says
There's nothing like meeting your people for the first time is there, Catherine?
iSophie says
This is a fantastic heart felt post. You had me in tears. Thank you for sharing.
My wedding day was not the happiest in my life either. Ours was a very quite event, which I am very grateful for.
Meeting my husband in person for the first time was def one of mine, (which is my post today on FYBF). Also the births of the 4 boys.
cookerandalooker says
It's a wonderful love story Sophie. You two were certainly early adopters!
redcliffestyle says
That is a great list! My most important day was the day my father suddenly died. It changed my world and changed me. Rachel xx
cookerandalooker says
I understand Rachel. My family and I have commented that we now divide our memories into before and after the accident.
Danya Banya says
"D makes a noise when he sees our babies for the first time – I’ve never heard it outside of the delivery room – it’s a mix of excitement, joy and relief, and it makes me love him even more."
- oh I just got all teary reading that!
What a great list. My wedding day was fun, it was a party, but yes, we'd also made our promises years and years before.
cookerandalooker says
Thanks Danya - the noise D makes in the delivery room is much nicer than any of the noises I've ever made in there! 😛
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit says
Gorgeous post.
I don't remember a lot about my wedding day. I got a bit drunk by the end. I do recall dancing in a night club afterwards with people standing on my train. A pissed bride is not a good look ...
I think my vow renewal in Hawaii was better.
Cheers and happy festive season 🙂
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
cookerandalooker says
Leanne, I think we would be firm friends! After our reception finished, we invited a bunch of friends and family to come back to the bridal suite for a few more drinks!
Hope you're enjoying the festive season - we're holidaying with family and it's been great!
Have a laugh on me says
Such a thought provoking post, it's life changing moments that shape us. My wedding day rates up there but so does the birth of my 3 children. Thanks for sharing 🙂 Emily
Kirsty @ My Home Truths says
This has really made me think about what have been the most pivotal days of my life so far. Apart from the births of my kids, the other pivotal days would have to revolve around receiving their respective diagnosis. Nothing changes you more than knowing your kids are going to have lifelong special needs and the re-adjustment of hopes and dreams that follow... Thanks for re-sharing this post, it certainly does make you think!
Francesca says
This is a beautiful post and very thought-provoking. There's no doubt that my wedding day was one of the most important days of my life, but there are few others which also come to mind...
Grace says
Ah, nothing like a bit of Bob Marley in a far off land! 🙂
I think the wedding day is simply the introduction of what is yet to come and conquer with your beloved. Thanks for sharing and making me think what've been the important days in my life x
Denyse Whelan Education Specialist says
Oh wow, that was a wonderful read. Such vivid and real memories there. It's said that the most significant events in our lives (negative and positive) remain as memories vivid and strong forever. I still recall the eyes of my now hub, looking at me and smiling and then as he asked me to dance...42 years and 3 months ago...and I said YES...for the rest of my life. Have a wonderful 2013. Denyse
Tracey @ Bliss Amongst Chaos says
Lovely post Amanda. I don't think my wedding day was THE most important day of my life. As you said, it is one of.
I've lost my brother too, nearly two years ago. Sorry to hear about yours
xx
seanalucysmith says
What a thought provoking post... and now I shall go to bed thinking about which were the most important days of my life... definitely the kids being born, all safe and without panic, if with pain at times... but what others. Oh I love a blog post that makes me think. I've just posted my best recipes of the year... not NEARLY so profound. Thank you, great post.
Lydia C. Lee says
I hated the ads for this show - so insulting to men 'oh, how hilarious, imagine a man having any idea what he wants for a wedding' (insulting women that they apparently let the men have no say normally in the wedding).
As I've said before, today is the most important day in my life, it's the only one I can change...
Fran Arnold says
Loved this post, and I'm particularly touched to realise I was involved in one of your most important days! (You seem to have neglected to mention anything about how we went to the toilet at that club, though.....;)!)
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
That's a story for a-whole-nother post Fran! Was a good night huh?
Lydia C. Lee says
I wrote a post on this awhile back - I believe today is the most important day in your life,as it's the only one that you can actively do something with. Every day,whether it be your wedding or just a day doing everyday things, is equally important, and it's a waste of a day not to treasure it...If money was no object, we could swan about doing fabulous things,but the trick to life is to love all the tiny moments...
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
I love that sentiment - today right now is the most important because everything happens in the present. Nice one. x
Annaleis from Teapots and Tractors says
You are moved me so much by this post. Like you my wedding day was 'one' of the days but so many others have changed the way I have lived and the plans I made. Couldn't single it down to one I don't think.
Beautiful post Amanda, hope the wedding is beautiful xx