Grief is a very difficult thing to understand. For those on the outside, it can be difficult to know what to do, what to say, how to act. I was lucky to be surrounded by so many caring people when my brother died.
In the lead up to RU OK? Day, I wanted to share what a massive difference a phone call can make........
After David's funeral, my lovely friend Chantal phoned me every Friday afternoon. I'm not sure how she remembered - whether she made a note in her diary or a reminder on her phone - but every Friday without fail she would phone and check in.
Sometimes, lost in the blur that is parenting a newborn, I would see the call on my phone and think "Oh, it must be Friday". She was like clockwork. I could count on her. It was comforting. Some weeks I was doing OK, but other weeks I really needed that call.
After everyone seemed to get on with their lives, that call - the call that said "I remember that life is never going to be the same for you" - meant the world.
Do you know someone who could do with 'that call'? Make it!
Unsure what to say? Check out the How to ask R U OK? page on the website.
They also have very helpful advice for helping the bereaved - Dealing with Bereavement.
R U OK? Day is September 12. For more information visit www.ruokday.com
How will you mark R U OK? Day?
Has a conversation ever changed your life?
Elephant's Child says
I love that your friend was there for you. I love that you are now reaching out to others.
Thanks Elephant's Child. I was so pleased with the coverage that R U OK? Day received. I really feel like the message really got out there this year.
that is one incredible friend - we all need to take a leaf out of her book i think!
She really is, Lyndal. She’s also unfortunately now on the other side of the globe – thank goodness for the interweb!
Some people are so good at knowing what others need, and acting on it. Even if we are not as diligent as your friend, it doesn't take much to check in others when we can.
That's exactly it! I really feel like the message got out there this year. Loved the story on your blog - the ocean is such a powerful metaphor for depression.
kelley @ magnetboldtoo says
everyone needs a friend like that. Alas many people just don't know how to deal and fade away. I am glad she was there for you.
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
So true Kelley. She's one in a million.