Dear new lesion,
We spotted you on the MRI yesterday.
You seem to have moved in without completing a tenancy agreement.
This is problematic in two forms:
1) we cannot be sure when you took up residence.
Without being able to determine when you took up residence in my peritrigonal white matter, we cannot be sure if you’re a pre- or post-treatment arrival. For the purposes of this letter, let’s assume you arrived not long after my January MRI. The idea of you moving in post-treatment is not something I want to consider
2) we cannot be sure why you took up residence in the peritrigonal region.
To be frank I have no idea what function the peritrigonal region performs but it seems like pretty prime real estate.
Are you the reason that I find myself listing the kids names off until I get the right one when I’m angry? Is your tenancy causing my diminished tolerance of David Avocado Wolfe memes and the sound of children bickering? Have you taken up residence in my short term memory, causing me to make repeated return visits to the fridge to check if something delicious has magically materialised since my last visit?
As you can see, your undocumented long-term lease is troubling. Now you’re in residence, let’s set some ground rules: don’t invite your mates to move in and don’t even consider expanding to the adjacent real estate.
As your landlord, should I discover that you’ve squatted on more white matter, I will be merciless in my punishment.
A twenty-four hour Caillou marathon will be just the start, my little demyelinated amigo. Yesterday there was even talk of a third round of treatment.
Don’t forget that I have kids, so I’m trained in this kind of warfare. I promise that when parents say “this hurts me more than it hurts you” they mean it, but they single-mindedly stay the path anyway.
Try to keep the noise down.
Sincerely,
Amanda
(your new landlord)
Oh my goodness. I follow you on instagram and I never realized you have an illness. I feel for you. I would never have known. You are such an upbeat lady from what I have seen. You are amazing. I really hope everything goes well for you. I had a mild stroke a couple of years ago and had 2 full body mri. Being clostrpphobic it was a nightmare. They had to sedate me and as the machine moved it kept getting caught on the needle in my hand from the drip. Never again so from my point of view you are amazing with having to go through it. Please keep us up to date. Sending hood thoughts fir you. X
Bugger!!!! This is definitely not the news you want or need. Thankfully you’re one amazing kick-ass chick and nothing will ever keep you down (and like you said… you’re a mum… which pretty much means you’re ready to defeat anything!!!!!). Sending you big hugs (and hoping there’s something delicious in your fridge). Lots and lots of love xxx
How dare that lesion move in uninvited! Rude, inconsiderate little turd! Sending stink eye vibes to said lesion – he better keep to himself. Xx
Bugger it! This is not what I was hoping for on this MRI.
Sending you lots of love.
xoxo
I love seeing you around the traps even if it’s only for a quick chat or wave. Your letter and rules are amazing!
Squatters! This is so not what one wants on the MRI. That said, I don’t think that lesion knows who it’s dealing with. I’m sending you love, strength and lesion melting vibes. Hugs for you xx
Never what you want to here after starting treatment. Fingers crossed it was already there and your treatment has put it all in remission.
The uncertainty of it all is so terribly frustrating. Love to you xx
Fuckity fuckballs. Sucky tenants are the pits. I hope this jerk gets what an ace landlord you are and just sits quietly in the corner and watches many beautiful seasons of The Days Of Our Lives.
Love and light x
Hi Amanda,
That lesion has no idea what mums can do and deal with. Thinking of you and sending you loads of lesion smashing vibes. X
oh fucking hell!! WHO THE HELL INVITED *THAT ASSHOLE* TO THE PARTY?? (apologies to you gran, but then again…. umm, only a half-hearted one)
as for those damned david wolfe avocado things, no sane person could tolerate that shite…..
i so wish i had something that was actually helpful to say. but i don’t. until i can come up with something, i’m sending lots of love and light, and keeping you in my thoughts.
xoxo, buf
I too have a low tolerance for David Avocado Wolf and as far as I know, my brain is as it should be. I wish you strength as you take on this battle.
Sending love and strength and a big FO to your annoying new tenant xxxx
Sux. I’m sending you love and strength and best hopes for David Avocado Wolfe’s immediate dismissal from the internets. x
Oh Amanda – not great news all. Be the tough landlord you need to be x
I used to go through my bos’ names to get the right one, and I had no nasty tenants as far as I know. Funnily enough, I usually get the right grandchild first time around. As a landlord you can say what you like to your new tenant. No rights there.
All the best to you and your family for Christmas.
I go through all my brothers & sons names till I get the right one !!! That new squatter can just bugger off, doesn’t he (its got to me male) know that Mum’s are super heros??? Sending you lots of healing hugs & some more super powers.
Paula XXX
Let’s hope you find a but man to move this guy on. Muchlove my friend. Xx
Well that sucks to find that. And right before Christmas and after your first treatment. Sending love and not losing faith at all. You’ve got this. xxx
I’m convinced it’s a pre-treatment arrival Bec. Still manifesting my miracle! Plus will have another MRI just before my next treatment so we can be sure next time. 🙂
I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope it packs its bags and leaves xx
So sorry to read your letter. With appropriate step by step action I hope you evict this unsolicited squatter!!! there is always QCAT – Quiting C And Thriving ?
LOL! I have used QCAT to get some overdue invoices paid before Teresa!