No doubt you've seen the "My day on a plate" feature in the Sunday lift-out of the Sydney Morning Herald. Here's my Saturday on a plate and I promise there's not an activated almond in sight!
5.30am: Woken by my girls who are excited that our dinner guests overnighted. Husband rolls over and pretends he is childless. While the kids' toast is cooking, I take two panadol with a glass of water. Make the first of two land-fill clogging pod coffees.
7.30am: Farewell dinner guests and husband. Eat two poached eggs on english muffins for breakfast. Lament I am too hungover to make hollandaise sauce. Concerned at the good fats I'm missing out on, I follow up breakfast with a mini-Magnum chaser.
12.30pm: By lunchtime, it's disgustingly hot on the farm. I choose to combat the heat by putting the oven on and baking bread. Eat salad leftover from last night's party.
1.30pm: Eat several slices of buttered bread while it is still hot. The Big Sister starts counting the minutes until we can visit our friends for a swim. Heat is unbearable.
3.00pm: At three pm I usually experience an energy slump. Today I combat it by grabbing another mini-Magnum from the freezer and hiding from the kids while I eat it. The Big Sister produces a painting of her minute countdown.
4.00pm: It's finally time to visit our friends for a swim. The kids snack on cold lychees in the car. Later they eat calippos sitting on the side of the pool. Not to be left-out I roll my third ice-cream for the day and sweat.
5.30pm: Arrive home. Dip some of the kids dinner into homemade tartare sauce. Apply two servings of hair of the dog directly to the injured area. Bath the kids. Convince them that kids the world over go to sleep while it is still light. Dine on seafood leftover from the dinner party.
8.30pm: Take magnesium and valerian supplements, washed down with large bottle of soda water. Contemplate another mini-Magnum. Sleep.