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    Home » pondering

    By Amanda Smyth 26 Comments

    the mark of the man

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    In the months after David died I was worried he would evaporate.  I was terrified of forgetting what his hands looked like or the sound of his laugh.  I must have seemed quite mad at the wake when I begged family friends to write down memories of him for fear there was something about David that I didn’t know and would now never learn.  I hastily chose photos, had them printed to canvas and hung them around the house.  I bought a book and wrote things about him in it - stories, memories, things he said - all for fear I would forget.  I thought about getting a tattoo: I wanted something of David etched on me forever, but the words that I found comforting changed so often that I never got inked.

    Earlier this month, Uberkate became sponsors of Cooker and a Looker.  You might have noticed their ad over in the right hand column.  They gave me an ubercircle and I asked you what I should write on it because I couldn't decide.

    Bearhands suggested Flossie - David’s nickname for me.  I thought about his initials and dates, but I wanted something more personal.  Then one afternoon, I realised exactly what I should have printed on it:

    alis volat propriis - he flies with his own wings

    alis volat propriis

    I cried when it arrived yesterday afternoon.  It’s beautiful and weighty and shiny and hopeful.  I love it.

    It was two years in September since the accident.  I'm still incredulous that I'll never be able to speak to him again, but I'm not manic in my mission to remember anymore.

    Because, how could I forget?

    is there a phrase that means something special to you?

    Uberkate didn't pay me to write this post. I just wanted to tell you this story.

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    Reader Interactions

    Comments

    1. Robyn says

      November 23, 2013 at 6:07 am

      Just made me cry too

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 23, 2013 at 5:13 pm

        Sorry Mrs D - bet that wasn't the start to Saturday you were hoping for! x

        Reply
    2. Jay @ Moodie Foodie (@moodiefoodiejay) says

      November 23, 2013 at 6:08 am

      What a beautiful post Amanda - as always, so heart felt and well just right. The necklace is perfect. I do have a special phrase, actually it's symbols but I can't find how to do it on the computer. It's on the inside of our wedding rings 'x infinity' meaning there is no end xo

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 23, 2013 at 5:12 pm

        Bearhands and I sometimes say times infinity as code for I love you too Jay! Great minds, huh?

        Reply
    3. Aleney @ BoyEatsWorld says

      November 23, 2013 at 7:25 am

      It couldn't be more perfect Amanda. Beautiful post. x

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 23, 2013 at 5:11 pm

        Thanks Aleney x

        Reply
    4. Lisa says

      November 23, 2013 at 10:03 am

      A lovely way to remember your brother. X

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 23, 2013 at 5:10 pm

        Thanks Lisa. x

        Reply
    5. Renee | About a Bugg says

      November 23, 2013 at 12:06 pm

      Love this. I just ordered my own Uberkate last night, so *had* to click over to read. So glad I did. xx

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 23, 2013 at 5:10 pm

        How exciting Renee - what inscription did you choose?

        Reply
        • Renee | About a Bugg says

          November 24, 2013 at 7:53 pm

          Slightly corny - but 'to the moon and back'. It's something that Poss and I tell each other every night, so it seemed right. Can't wait to get it!

          Reply
          • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

            November 26, 2013 at 4:29 pm

            Awesome Renee - would you believe, we call the Big Sister Poss?

            Reply
    6. womblywoo says

      November 23, 2013 at 7:48 pm

      That is just perfect.

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 26, 2013 at 4:29 pm

        Thank you x

        Reply
    7. Sonia Life Love Hiccups says

      November 24, 2013 at 8:45 pm

      Oh sweetheart - it is just so perfect. What a beautiful way to pay tribute to him xx

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 26, 2013 at 4:29 pm

        Thanks Sonia - I love it.

        Reply
    8. Have a laugh on me says

      November 25, 2013 at 1:18 pm

      Oh hun what a special phrase to have chosen, it's just awesome. And I have to say I feel it's wise to have a gorgeous piece of jewellery that you can take off, unlike a tattoo, and I can say that because I have one - not that I regret it but - it's a long story, one I'll save for another day! xx

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 26, 2013 at 4:28 pm

        Look forward to hearing that one, Em! 🙂

        Reply
    9. Sharon Clews says

      November 25, 2013 at 7:29 pm

      Just perfect Amanda, I love your way with words x

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 26, 2013 at 4:26 pm

        Thanks Sharon. It's so appropriate, isn't it?

        Reply
    10. kirsten, kirsten and co. says

      November 25, 2013 at 9:22 pm

      Such beautiful words, both in the post and on the ubercircle. Both brought tears to my eyes xx

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 26, 2013 at 4:25 pm

        Thanks Kirsten x

        Reply
    11. Lydia C. Lee says

      November 26, 2013 at 6:15 am

      That's a lovely post, and very generous to share. xx

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        November 26, 2013 at 4:25 pm

        Thanks Lydia. x

        Reply
    12. Dawn Pereira says

      November 26, 2013 at 11:28 pm

      Just love the way you write about David. He will never be forgotten.

      Reply
    13. LittleWhiteDove says

      June 05, 2014 at 6:54 pm

      What beautiful, heartrending post & piece of jewellery. I love the quote you chose.

      Reply

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