In the months after David died I was worried he would evaporate. I was terrified of forgetting what his hands looked like or the sound of his laugh. I must have seemed quite mad at the wake when I begged family friends to write down memories of him for fear there was something about David that I didn’t know and would now never learn. I hastily chose photos, had them printed to canvas and hung them around the house. I bought a book and wrote things about him in it – stories, memories, things he said – all for fear I would forget. I thought about getting a tattoo: I wanted something of David etched on me forever, but the words that I found comforting changed so often that I never got inked.
Earlier this month, Uberkate became sponsors of Cooker and a Looker. You might have noticed their ad over in the right hand column. They gave me an ubercircle and I asked you what I should write on it because I couldn’t decide.
Bearhands suggested Flossie – David’s nickname for me. I thought about his initials and dates, but I wanted something more personal. Then one afternoon, I realised exactly what I should have printed on it:
alis volat propriis – he flies with his own wings
I cried when it arrived yesterday afternoon. It’s beautiful and weighty and shiny and hopeful. I love it.
It was two years in September since the accident. I’m still incredulous that I’ll never be able to speak to him again, but I’m not manic in my mission to remember anymore.
Because, how could I forget?
is there a phrase that means something special to you?
Uberkate didn’t pay me to write this post. I just wanted to tell you this story.
Just made me cry too
Sorry Mrs D – bet that wasn’t the start to Saturday you were hoping for! x
What a beautiful post Amanda – as always, so heart felt and well just right. The necklace is perfect. I do have a special phrase, actually it’s symbols but I can’t find how to do it on the computer. It’s on the inside of our wedding rings ‘x infinity’ meaning there is no end xo
Bearhands and I sometimes say times infinity as code for I love you too Jay! Great minds, huh?
It couldn’t be more perfect Amanda. Beautiful post. x
Thanks Aleney x
A lovely way to remember your brother. X
Thanks Lisa. x
Love this. I just ordered my own Uberkate last night, so *had* to click over to read. So glad I did. xx
How exciting Renee – what inscription did you choose?
Slightly corny – but ‘to the moon and back’. It’s something that Poss and I tell each other every night, so it seemed right. Can’t wait to get it!
Awesome Renee – would you believe, we call the Big Sister Poss?
That is just perfect.
Thank you x
Oh sweetheart – it is just so perfect. What a beautiful way to pay tribute to him xx
Thanks Sonia – I love it.
Oh hun what a special phrase to have chosen, it’s just awesome. And I have to say I feel it’s wise to have a gorgeous piece of jewellery that you can take off, unlike a tattoo, and I can say that because I have one – not that I regret it but – it’s a long story, one I’ll save for another day! xx
Look forward to hearing that one, Em! 🙂
Just perfect Amanda, I love your way with words x
Thanks Sharon. It’s so appropriate, isn’t it?
Such beautiful words, both in the post and on the ubercircle. Both brought tears to my eyes xx
Thanks Kirsten x
That’s a lovely post, and very generous to share. xx
Thanks Lydia. x
Just love the way you write about David. He will never be forgotten.
What beautiful, heartrending post & piece of jewellery. I love the quote you chose.