Yesterday I had a sad day.
I'm prone to having sad days in the lead up to David's anniversary.
Often I'm not sure what brings them on, but I suspect yesterday's sadness was brought on by my phone reminding me that four years ago I'd made some baby bubble brag about the Little Sister weighing 6.1kg at her six week injections. Looking back, this was a little sweet spot in my life - the Little Sister had arrived and David was yet to depart. And I was floating along in my baby bubble, completely unaware that it was about to burst.
I've learned to allow myself sad days now. I fill those days with tasks that don't require much thought or much social interaction. I give the kids long hugs and hold them until they start squirming with the need to do something else.
Then yesterday afternoon, a package arrived. The dog didn't bark and the lady delivering the parcel arrived right at the back door without warning. When I saw the return address I knew it would be worth saving, so I waited until I could savour the unwrapping of each little bit.
My dear friend and bridesmaid Lozza has undergone a career change this past year and turned her love for pottery into Loz Loz - beautiful handmade ceramics. She knew I'd broken my butter dish a little while ago, so she's made me one.
What I didn't know is, knowing I'd be sad leading up to David's anniversary, she'd also made me a beautiful cross.
It was the closest I've ever come to getting a hug in the mail and I instantly held it to my chest.
It's hanging above our dining room table, a permanent reminder of David, Lozza and how lucky I am: even on days when I intentially hide from the world, I'm not alone.
Robyna says
That's so beautiful. Hope the days are gentle with you. I have found that for some reason, the days get easier but the anniversaries never do.
Amanda Smyth says
Thanks mate. x
Amy says
I agree with Robyna, an anniversary, dream, tshirt, handwriting or even a thought still has the ability to bring me to my knees. Much love for you. Xx
Amanda Smyth says
I know exactly what you mean Amy. Thanks x
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
Oh that's gorgeous. The Beatles were right we'll get by with a little help from our friends. Thinking of you x
Amanda Smyth says
She's super clever, isn't she Sammie?
Stephanie says
True friends are there just when we need them aren't they. Hope your week is a bit brighter.
Amanda Smyth says
Thanks Steph - it's looking up already. x
Michelle@Keep Calm Get Organised says
What a beautiful, thoughtful friend. Sending virtual hugs and real prayers. xx
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
Some people just know the exact right thing to do at the exactly the right time. Love and light to you xx
Sydney, Kids, Food + Travel says
That's such a lovely gift and it's so good to have friends who are not afraid to talk about our loved ones who have died. Really as a whole I don't we talk enough about the people we have lost. Such a skill to be able to recognise down times, grief and then to self soothe through it. Even lovelier to have someone reach out and send love. xxxxx
Vicki @ Boiled Eggs & Soldiers says
What a special (and talented) friend you have. I hope that you are ok and keep surrounding yourself with hugs x
Veggie Mama says
I've been thinking a lot about friends lately. What a wonderful one you have there x
MrsDplus3 says
That is just so lovely, what a wonderful (and very talented friend). I don't like it when you feel sad. Sending you some sunshine mate and I hope it brightens your day my friend. Big hugs xxxxx