The first thing I noticed about Fr Stan was his feet. Priests have feet - who knew? We'd arrived at the Caloundra Parish Office after hours, for the first of a few compulsory pre-marriage counselling sessions. Fr Stan was wearing thongs. I'd never seen a priest 'off duty' before.
As we got chatting Fr Stan revealed that, by merit of his unconventional entry to the priesthood, he was actually well placed to speak about marriage - he'd been married and had a daughter, Tara, of whom he spoke with great pride.
And so, our relationship with Fr Stan began. Fr Stan married us in July 2007.
He baptised the Big Sister in November 2008 and the Little Sister in November 2011.
He would occasionally drop into the farm to check how we were going and to swap golf stories with D.
There were a hundred reasons to love Fr Stan. He stood up for what he believed in - most controversially speaking out in support of gay marriage and same sex surrogacy.
But it was Fr Stan's kindness after David died that will be my most treasured memory of him. Mum, Dad and Ant were in Indonesia waiting to bring David home. The Little Sister was just eight weeks old. I was distraught. I needed reassurance. I needed someone to tell me that heaven was real. That David was somewhere better. That he wasn't just gone. That he would persist. That I might one day feel his presence again. See his face. Hold his beautiful hands.
D phoned Fr Stan. He was enjoying a round of golf on his day off. He volunteered to walk off the course and come immediately. D, a fellow golf fanatic, assured him that wasn't necessary. Fr Stan came the next morning. He offered his condolences and then he offered me some words that have become indelibly etched on my soul -
"We're made for eternity, but we're only here for a short time".
Fr Stan died suddenly last week. He was 71. Yesterday his family, friends and fellow clergy gathered to say farewell. There were laughs and tears - it was a fitting tribute to a wonderful man. So many people came to farewell him, and looking at their faces I could tell that Fr Stan had celebrated their highest highs and shared their lowest lows too. Fr Stan made such a difference in all of our lives. He'll be missed but more importantly remembered.
Stanley David Griffith
10/11/1941 - 13/11/2012
Roslyn says
He sounds like a wonderful person to have had in your life. I am not a religious person but I have worked for many years in Catholic Schools and there are some wonderful, kind, caring and devoted people who are the embodiment of why people have faith. Sounds like he was one of those. Sorry for your loss x
Me says
So sorry to hear of the loss of Fr Stan - it is hard when we lose someone who has helped us through tough times. I love the quote “We’re made for eternity, but we’re only here for a short time”. So very true !
Have the best day !
Me
#FYBF visitor
Lisa Barton-Collins says
THis made me teary! Fr Stan sounds wonderful, I wish there where more like him in the church.
xx
Christine says
Hi there, I have randomly come across your blog after looking for Fr Stan's obituary online. I am a mum of three and my husband and I live on a country property as well. We too knew Fr Stan and he will be so sadly missed by many who he helped. He will indeed rest in peace. Such lovely words you have written. Kind regards, Christine. PS. I get the feet, it too used to make me smile.
cookerandalooker says
Thanks for your comment Christine. He was a great bloke who related easily to people living in the real world. If you're looking for more Fr Kevin has written about Fr Stan in the parish newsletter too - http://caloundracatholicparish.net/newsletter.pdf
Christine says
Thanks Amanda. Have just realized you live but 15 mins from me in Glasshouse, our paths may cross one day in this small part of the world! Have joined your lovely blog. Great to connect with other mums raising kids in our fresh country air and who enjoy gardening and cooking too.
Kirsty @ My Home Truths says
Fr Stan sounds like a wonderful and caring person who made a real and lasting difference to a lot of people - sorry to hear of his sudden loss.
Dawn Pereira says
Beautifully written Amanda - he has certainly played a big part in your lives RIP Fr Stan
Grace says
So sorry for your loss, Amanda. It's truly heartbreaking when someone so close and important in your life is suddenly taken away. But there is so much truth in Fr. Stan's words. We are made for an eternity. Big hugs x
Mixed Gems says
You've written a beautifully moving tribute to someone who sounded like a tender and warm hearted man. I can sense it was a great privilege to have known him.
Susan says
Hi Amanda,
Father Stan used to do mass at the kids' school here in Gympie and had a lot to do with my kids. They all thought he was great. I think that because of his unique entry to the priesthood, he had a lot to give and a very real perspective on life and families. He did the Grandparents Day Mass this year and was such a lovely man. He will be missed up here at St Patrick's Primary too.
cookerandalooker says
Thanks for commenting Susan. He was a very relatable person, wasn't he?
Trevor Burns says
Hi Amanda
My name is Trevor and I have the Little White Wedding Church in Maleny Fr Stan had married more than 30 couples at the chapel and I know along with myself he will be greatly missed. Stan had a wonderful nature and brought so much openness to the Catholic faith, truly a beautiful soul I will miss you Stan.
Seana - Sydney, Kids, Food + Travel says
What a lovely testament to Stan, you'll miss him, but your sentiments are right on the money. My grandad died about 27 years ago but he is very much alive in my mind and heart, and many of the things he taught and told me will be with me until I follow him. Glad to read this via the rewind.
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
I like to think that Stan and David are on the back nine, Seana. I live in hope they're waiting for us. x
Life in a pink Fibro says
What a beautiful post! Family comes to us on many guises. Thanks for Rewinding.
Elaine Asher says
I grew up living next door to Stan and his family. He was a couple of years older than me and even as a kid he was a lovely person as were his whole family.
Amanda Smyth says
Hi Elaine, thanks for commenting - it was a lovely surprise to hear from someone who knew Stan. 🙂