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    Home » family

    By Amanda Smyth 10 Comments

    chocolate covered bullets conjure old flames and other things i learned in January 2015

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    Can you believe we’re already a month into 2015?  The Big Sister went back to school on Tuesday and we're finally settling into a little bit of normality.  Of course, by normality I mean that special Smyth brand of normality that isn't very normal at all.

    As January comes to a close, I've spent some time reflection on the things I've learned this year.  Important life lessons, folks!

    Be inspiring.

    Mum’s friend Gillian gave this book to the Little Sister. I’m convinced I am Mem Fox’s muse. There’s no attribution, but I’ll be waiting by the mail box for my appearance fee.  Harriet, you'll drive me wild

    This book is a gift to mothers of prickly Harriets the world over.  Note: I chose to photograph our copy next to the Little Sister’s handiwork on our dining room chair legs.  Large sticker book = a gift from her childless Uncle and Aunt.

    Turn a blind eye.  

    Sure, good friends will smile politely when your denture breaks and pretend not to notice the gaping hole where your front tooth should be.  But GREAT friends will stand around the kitchen bench cheering Bearhands on as he attempts to superglue the blessed thing back together.

    Have a backup plan.

    As he waved me off to the technician’s office to have my denture repaired, Bearhands asked that I request an appraisal of his work.  When I arrived I checked my dignity and denture at the door, and sat in the waiting room sans front tooth.  The dental technician was a nice bloke, who eventually gave Bearhands an 8/10.  His work was good, but he’d deducted marks for excess superglue.  It’s good to know that if this farming caper doesn’t work out, we can open a backyard denture repair business.

    Measure twice, explode once.

    If you think cooking with kids brings out your OCD tendencies, try conducting science experiments with them.  The Big Sister received a do-it-yourself volcano kit for Christmas.    Starting Boxing Day, she woke up every morning, stretched, went to the loo then came into my bed and asked if we could make the volcano today.  Eventually, on a day with the Little Sister had other plans, we made the volcano.  Cue Mummy having flashbacks to high school titration competitions and insisting on precise measurements.  Yeah, I’m a barrel of laughs.  DIY Volcano kid = gift from childless friend.DIY volcano action

    Laughter is the best medicine.

    If you’ve managed to spoil a perfectly fun activity with scientific rigour, then redeem yourself by being ridiculous.  This book will do the trick.The book with no pictures

    Not all springform pans are created equal.  

    Murphy’s Law states that this tin would have performed it’s duties perfectly if I hadn’t cleaned the oven the day before.

    Don’t tweet and cook.

    The very same afternoon that I baked that chocolate cake onto the bottom of the oven, I boiled over a pot of marshmallow mix.  A lesser woman would’ve thrown her toys out of the cot, I consoled myself by eating the cake off the bottom of the oven and counted the minutes until five o’clock.

    Trust your instincts

    Should you discover that your homemade prawn stock has passed its prime.  Don’t pour it down the sink, stick with your first instinct and post it to Fred Nile. Postage is much cheaper than having the grease trap cleaned.

    Chocolate covered bullets conjure old flames.

    Well, old flame is overstating it, but be warned.  If you spend your morning scoffing chocolate bullets, you will likely encounter the object of your teenage affections at the public pool.  In your bikini.  While drying a particularly squishy bit of your upper thigh.  And wearing a denture.

    what have you learned this year?

    shall I write a list of what NOT to give kids for Christmas?

     

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    Reader Interactions

    Comments

    1. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says

      January 30, 2015 at 1:56 pm

      You just have to love superglue and great friends! I had to cringe when I read about chocolate bullets and the public pool. I'm back to rations after being mistaken for being pregnant. Sure it was only my kids by still! I would read that list about what not to give kids. xx

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        January 31, 2015 at 11:37 am

        I had intentions of rationing myself this week Em, but then life gave me bigger fish to fry.
        Maybe next week? Maybe never? 🙂

        Reply
    2. claireyhewitt01 says

      January 30, 2015 at 9:36 pm

      That is not the new new tooth is it? Surely not.

      As for the toys from childless couples...add bath crayons to the list.

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        January 31, 2015 at 11:35 am

        I still don't have the new new tooth yet Claire. I should have it by the end of February. I'm planning on eating apples and steak sandwiches in public for a month after that! 🙂

        Reply
    3. BOYEATSWORLD says

      January 31, 2015 at 6:58 am

      After eating far too much over Crhistmas, I've learned to avoid the public pool altogether... unless I'm in a mumu! 🙂

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        January 31, 2015 at 11:37 am

        Must invest in a mumu!

        Reply
    4. Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says

      January 31, 2015 at 11:33 am

      I don't have kids but I know not to give a noisy or messy toy to my friend's kids. Not unless I want to stay friends with them anyway. It must have been a dentally challenged month because I learnt eating crusty sourdough will rip a veneer right off and leave one looking like a freak. This is an unfortunate situation that can not be saved with superglue, only a dentist and a big fat bill. Needless, to say that sourdough was the most expensive piece of bread I've ever eaten! Oh and I also learned how to make an Australia shaped pav, thanks to you!

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 02, 2015 at 12:57 pm

        I'll be pressing my kids towards dental school Sammie - great hours and lots-a-dough!
        Glad your situation was mended quickly. I cannot wait to finally have a tooth!

        Reply
    5. Rachel says

      January 31, 2015 at 7:58 pm

      Science experiments with kids are actually just craft in disguise. Think about it - lots of mess, stress, and high expectations which the outcomes rarely live up to!

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 02, 2015 at 12:56 pm

        Wise words Rachel!

        Reply

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