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    Home » pondering

    By Amanda Smyth 34 Comments

    how not to celebrate Valentines Day

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    It's Valentines Day apparently.  Bearhands and I have never made a big deal about it.  I suspect this is because our very first Valentines Day almost derailed our whole show.  We had only been dating a month when Valentines Day rolled around.  We made plans to share a seafood picnic at a picturesque part of Brisbane.  Then Bearhands headed out for a night with his mates.
    The wheels started to wobble.

    When he phoned to tell me the story, it involved inebriation and disorientation, a bus ride and a lost wallet.  No problem, I said.  The picnic was my shout.  I'd pop over to his place and we'd head off.
    The wheels started to leave the track.

    When I arrived to pick Bearhands up for our date, he had a glazed appearance.  A kiss revealed serious beer breath.  Then he said the words that every bird wants to hear on Valentines Day "Come in.  Benny and I are having a beer on the deck!"   Benny?
    Bust my buffers!

    And so our first Valentines Day was spent on the deck of Bearhands' share house where he, Benny (a beer rep and a handy bloke to know) and I shared a carton of beer and split a packet of chips.
    CRASH.

    The following day, I began to worry.  Where were my prawns?  Had the romance stopped? Had I tossed up the cat too early?*  Bearhands had been giving good woo up to that point.  I sure didn't want it to stop!  I told him my concerns regarding his access to free milk - lots and lots of milk back then - and his lease agreement of the cow.  We reenacted Valentines Day the following week and Bearhands redeemed himself, which was lucky for me.  I hear it's pretty hard to re-bag a pussy after it's been tossed.

    Fellows, the moral of this mishmash of metaphors Valentines Day story is this: Ladies rarely wish to spend Valentines listening to you and your mates sink stubbies and shoot the breeze.  Do so and you may find yourself out of milk on a train bound for nowhere.

    Image Source 

    * tossing up the cat code for giving away the milk.  
    No actual felines were thrown during our courtship.

    ever had a shocker valentine?

     

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    Reader Interactions

    Comments

    1. Lydia C. Lee says

      February 14, 2014 at 5:57 am

      It's those Valentine's Days that prove it really is love...

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 14, 2014 at 1:35 pm

        Agreed Lydia xx

        Reply
    2. Stephanie says

      February 14, 2014 at 6:33 am

      A lovely ending to your story!

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 14, 2014 at 1:36 pm

        Alls well that ends well Stephanie! 🙂

        Reply
    3. Denise says

      February 14, 2014 at 6:38 am

      What Lydia said! Our Valentine's Days rarely go to plan but I don't think it's a reflection of our relationship, at least I hope not:-)

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 14, 2014 at 1:36 pm

        I'm sure its our abilities to handle the not-to-plan stuff that makes a happy marriage Denise. Happy Valentines Day. xx

        Reply
    4. Renee says

      February 14, 2014 at 6:56 am

      Lol hilarious. I can just picture this happening. He must have done a good job redeeming himself. Great memory for you to tell your children.

      Reply
    5. Beth Mantle says

      February 14, 2014 at 7:28 am

      ROFL! And what an education in metaphors... I feel very enlightened and much more able to talk about first date sex without explicitly saying it (not that I anticipate any first date cat tossing any time in my near future).

      My other half and I are having our FIRST Valentines Day today. I am knocked up. We're selling two houses and trying to settle on the new one. A new fence is going up between us and the neighbours we hope never to hear or see from again. And I can't seem to find my shoes today...

      Here's to a romantic 6pm dinner at the Boathouse on Lake Hurley Gristle!

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 14, 2014 at 1:34 pm

        Enjoy some quiet time Beth. Our romantic endeavours have been quite curtailed since the arrivals of the girls. Good luck with the houses. x

        Reply
    6. Me says

      February 14, 2014 at 8:00 am

      LOL - glad he managed to redeem himself. To be honest, I don't recall us ever celebrating Valentine's Day although I think early on there may have been some exchange of cards and/or presents. Does that make me a bad wife because I can't remember ?
      Have the best day !
      Me

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 14, 2014 at 1:32 pm

        I haven't even mustered a card this year Me. Bearhands will be wondering what he did wrong? We can't both be bad wives can we? 🙂

        Reply
    7. Kaz @ Melting Moments says

      February 14, 2014 at 8:02 am

      Bust my buffers!! Love it! What a great story. So glad he made it up to you (a hundred times over, no doubt) 🙂

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 14, 2014 at 1:31 pm

        It was the first of many blundered Valentines Days Kaz. I'm used to it now! 🙂

        Reply
    8. Ai Sakura says

      February 14, 2014 at 9:08 am

      And you still stayed on despite that first blotch 🙂 yay! Happy Valentine's Day to the both of you!

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 14, 2014 at 1:30 pm

        To you too Ai Sakura. x

        Reply
    9. Rachel says

      February 14, 2014 at 9:39 am

      Tossed up the cat lol! I intend to find an opportunity to use that one STAT. Glad D redeemed himself in the woo stakes - he obviously knows a top quality milker when he see's one 😉

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 14, 2014 at 1:30 pm

        I'll be sure to tell him as much tonight Rachel! Hope you get a chance to toss up the cat for V day. x

        Reply
    10. Emily says

      February 14, 2014 at 10:10 am

      Haha. I love a good mixed metaphor! Can't say I'd heard of tossing the cat. Being a dog person, I LOVE the concept!

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        February 14, 2014 at 1:29 pm

        I'm a dog person too Em. Happy Valentines Day. xx

        Reply
    11. Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says

      February 14, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      Amanda, this cracked me up, mainly because John actually bought me a kitten for our first V Day!
      We had just moved in together and i missed the cat from my old sharehouse, so he bought me a replacement. Windsor was with us for the next 9 tears, and we all lived happily ever after.
      I'm so glad yours worked out too, bit of a worry about the prawns though, what happened them?? xx

      Reply
    12. Robyn (Mrs D) says

      February 14, 2014 at 2:26 pm

      I have no idea what all the cat tossing and lost milk was all about but I'm very glad to hear he redeemed himself. Mr D once booked us a river cruise which went down like a lead balloon as it was the coldest winter day in London and we nearly froze to death!!

      Reply
    13. Toni @ Finding Myself Young says

      February 14, 2014 at 4:29 pm

      LMAO! Why didn't I think of the milk metaphor damit. I was trying to come up with a fun way to describe that part of our relationship but couldn't so I just left it out altogether.

      Reply
    14. Pinky Poinker says

      February 14, 2014 at 5:00 pm

      What a quirky post! I loved it! I'm gonna have to do me some subscribing to this blog 😉

      Reply
    15. Maxabella says

      February 14, 2014 at 9:23 pm

      Tossed up the cat? Giving away the milk? Interesting! x

      Reply
    16. Lara @ This Charming Mum says

      February 15, 2014 at 8:00 pm

      I think Valentines Day is sometimes like New Years Eve - where the more you try to organise something amazing, the more likely it is to flop! I love a good mixed metaphor 🙂

      Reply
    17. Sydney, Kids, Food + Travel - Seana says

      February 16, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Trust this year was a bit different!! Of course on other days a carton of beer and a few mates is fun, but there are times and places.

      Reply
    18. Sonia Life Love Hiccups says

      February 16, 2014 at 1:32 pm

      lmao... I'm still stuck on the cat tossing images.... 🙂 Glad he redeemed himself for your sake and all the cats in the world xx

      Reply
    19. Melinda says

      February 16, 2014 at 1:57 pm

      Lol, happy to hear he managed to redeem himself. Hope your more recent Valentine's Days have been a little better!

      Reply
    20. fitbms says

      February 19, 2014 at 9:49 pm

      That reminds me of a time when the 'shoe was on the other foot'. My girlfriend and I headed over to her boyfriend's house at Toowong (many moons ago) for a party. He said he had to get a few things ready so her and I went to the R.E. A lot of hours later we stumbled back in and he wasn't impressed. We had a great time! I can remember wearing a t-shirt that read "Go-Anna" with a cartoon picture of a female goanna chasing a male koala (or something to that effect). That's about all I remember about that night!

      Anne xx

      Reply
      • Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says

        March 01, 2014 at 11:05 am

        Austen Taychious played at a pub near us in January Anne. I was pretty disappointed when I realised it was the same night as Bearhands' 40th party!

        Reply
    21. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says

      February 21, 2014 at 4:28 pm

      Ha ha that is gold - mostly V Days aren't great for us, just another day, I'm still waiting for him to write in my V Day and B Day cards!! xx

      Reply
    22. themisscinders says

      March 01, 2014 at 10:11 pm

      Total gold!

      Husband didn't appreciate my loud snort laughter while he was watching tele though lol

      Reply

    Trackbacks

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