It's Valentines Day apparently. Bearhands and I have never made a big deal about it. I suspect this is because our very first Valentines Day almost derailed our whole show. We had only been dating a month when Valentines Day rolled around. We made plans to share a seafood picnic at a picturesque part of Brisbane. Then Bearhands headed out for a night with his mates.
The wheels started to wobble.
When he phoned to tell me the story, it involved inebriation and disorientation, a bus ride and a lost wallet. No problem, I said. The picnic was my shout. I'd pop over to his place and we'd head off.
The wheels started to leave the track.
When I arrived to pick Bearhands up for our date, he had a glazed appearance. A kiss revealed serious beer breath. Then he said the words that every bird wants to hear on Valentines Day "Come in. Benny and I are having a beer on the deck!" Benny?
Bust my buffers!
And so our first Valentines Day was spent on the deck of Bearhands' share house where he, Benny (a beer rep and a handy bloke to know) and I shared a carton of beer and split a packet of chips.
CRASH.
The following day, I began to worry. Where were my prawns? Had the romance stopped? Had I tossed up the cat too early?* Bearhands had been giving good woo up to that point. I sure didn't want it to stop! I told him my concerns regarding his access to free milk - lots and lots of milk back then - and his lease agreement of the cow. We reenacted Valentines Day the following week and Bearhands redeemed himself, which was lucky for me. I hear it's pretty hard to re-bag a pussy after it's been tossed.
Fellows, the moral of this mishmash of metaphors Valentines Day story is this: Ladies rarely wish to spend Valentines listening to you and your mates sink stubbies and shoot the breeze. Do so and you may find yourself out of milk on a train bound for nowhere.
* tossing up the cat code for giving away the milk.
No actual felines were thrown during our courtship.
ever had a shocker valentine?
Lydia C. Lee says
It's those Valentine's Days that prove it really is love...
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
Agreed Lydia xx
Stephanie says
A lovely ending to your story!
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
Alls well that ends well Stephanie! 🙂
Denise says
What Lydia said! Our Valentine's Days rarely go to plan but I don't think it's a reflection of our relationship, at least I hope not:-)
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
I'm sure its our abilities to handle the not-to-plan stuff that makes a happy marriage Denise. Happy Valentines Day. xx
Renee says
Lol hilarious. I can just picture this happening. He must have done a good job redeeming himself. Great memory for you to tell your children.
Beth Mantle says
ROFL! And what an education in metaphors... I feel very enlightened and much more able to talk about first date sex without explicitly saying it (not that I anticipate any first date cat tossing any time in my near future).
My other half and I are having our FIRST Valentines Day today. I am knocked up. We're selling two houses and trying to settle on the new one. A new fence is going up between us and the neighbours we hope never to hear or see from again. And I can't seem to find my shoes today...
Here's to a romantic 6pm dinner at the Boathouse on Lake Hurley Gristle!
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
Enjoy some quiet time Beth. Our romantic endeavours have been quite curtailed since the arrivals of the girls. Good luck with the houses. x
Me says
LOL - glad he managed to redeem himself. To be honest, I don't recall us ever celebrating Valentine's Day although I think early on there may have been some exchange of cards and/or presents. Does that make me a bad wife because I can't remember ?
Have the best day !
Me
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
I haven't even mustered a card this year Me. Bearhands will be wondering what he did wrong? We can't both be bad wives can we? 🙂
Kaz @ Melting Moments says
Bust my buffers!! Love it! What a great story. So glad he made it up to you (a hundred times over, no doubt) 🙂
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
It was the first of many blundered Valentines Days Kaz. I'm used to it now! 🙂
Ai Sakura says
And you still stayed on despite that first blotch 🙂 yay! Happy Valentine's Day to the both of you!
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
To you too Ai Sakura. x
Rachel says
Tossed up the cat lol! I intend to find an opportunity to use that one STAT. Glad D redeemed himself in the woo stakes - he obviously knows a top quality milker when he see's one 😉
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
I'll be sure to tell him as much tonight Rachel! Hope you get a chance to toss up the cat for V day. x
Emily says
Haha. I love a good mixed metaphor! Can't say I'd heard of tossing the cat. Being a dog person, I LOVE the concept!
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
I'm a dog person too Em. Happy Valentines Day. xx
Lisa@RandomActsOfZen says
Amanda, this cracked me up, mainly because John actually bought me a kitten for our first V Day!
We had just moved in together and i missed the cat from my old sharehouse, so he bought me a replacement. Windsor was with us for the next 9 tears, and we all lived happily ever after.
I'm so glad yours worked out too, bit of a worry about the prawns though, what happened them?? xx
Robyn (Mrs D) says
I have no idea what all the cat tossing and lost milk was all about but I'm very glad to hear he redeemed himself. Mr D once booked us a river cruise which went down like a lead balloon as it was the coldest winter day in London and we nearly froze to death!!
Toni @ Finding Myself Young says
LMAO! Why didn't I think of the milk metaphor damit. I was trying to come up with a fun way to describe that part of our relationship but couldn't so I just left it out altogether.
Pinky Poinker says
What a quirky post! I loved it! I'm gonna have to do me some subscribing to this blog 😉
Maxabella says
Tossed up the cat? Giving away the milk? Interesting! x
Lara @ This Charming Mum says
I think Valentines Day is sometimes like New Years Eve - where the more you try to organise something amazing, the more likely it is to flop! I love a good mixed metaphor 🙂
Sydney, Kids, Food + Travel - Seana says
Trust this year was a bit different!! Of course on other days a carton of beer and a few mates is fun, but there are times and places.
Sonia Life Love Hiccups says
lmao... I'm still stuck on the cat tossing images.... 🙂 Glad he redeemed himself for your sake and all the cats in the world xx
Melinda says
Lol, happy to hear he managed to redeem himself. Hope your more recent Valentine's Days have been a little better!
fitbms says
That reminds me of a time when the 'shoe was on the other foot'. My girlfriend and I headed over to her boyfriend's house at Toowong (many moons ago) for a party. He said he had to get a few things ready so her and I went to the R.E. A lot of hours later we stumbled back in and he wasn't impressed. We had a great time! I can remember wearing a t-shirt that read "Go-Anna" with a cartoon picture of a female goanna chasing a male koala (or something to that effect). That's about all I remember about that night!
Anne xx
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
Austen Taychious played at a pub near us in January Anne. I was pretty disappointed when I realised it was the same night as Bearhands' 40th party!
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
Ha ha that is gold - mostly V Days aren't great for us, just another day, I'm still waiting for him to write in my V Day and B Day cards!! xx
themisscinders says
Total gold!
Husband didn't appreciate my loud snort laughter while he was watching tele though lol