This is my brother David. Today is his thirty-third birthday. Except he's not.
David will be 29 forever. Sometimes I imagine what he’d doing now, if God had taken me up on any of the deals I frantically tried to make with him while we waited for the search team to reach the crash site.
I wonder about where would he be working. What he’d look like now.
If he was here I imagine he’d be giving me stick about my missing front tooth.
He’d have delivered a kick-arse speech at Ant’s wedding last year, in spite of how much he hated public speaking.
His love of the Big Sister would have seen him loudly declare that she was robbed, when the class awards were announced at the end of year concert.
He’d be patient in his negotiations with the Little Sister about shoes or cleaning her teeth or what colour the sky really is.
He’d be laughing and bouncing on the trampoline with my girls even though he had things to do. His laugh would be the same ridiculous high-pitch that doesn't really fit a man.
He’d be phoning late from the back of cab to sing “Lover, Lover” by Sonia Dada at full pelt.
He’d be talking about the footage of the TransAsia flight with Dad and chastising Mum for riding her bike too fast.
He would hate that I’m crying while I write this. He’d say, come on babe. It’ll be right.
Except it's not.
Happy Birthday beautiful boy. I miss you. I love you and more than anything I hope you are happy where ever you are. I promise to dry these tears, be productive today and raise a glass on the hill to you with Bearhands tonight.
Robyna says
Oh Amanda. I am crying too. There are no words - just sending a huge hug. Happy Birthday David.
Rachael Page says
Enjoy that glass on the hill tonight to toast your brother David, Amanda. He will always be with you. My brother Matt passed away 10 years ago at the age of 36 and not a day goes by where I don't think of him and miss him. Be kind to yourself today x
Rachel says
Gahhh now I'm crying! Thinking of you today - when you go up to the hill tonight you'll be carrying him in your heart xx
Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says
I am crying too. Happy birthday David and know that your sissy loves you with every once of her soul. Hugs to you my friend xxx
Vicki Style On V says
sending love and hugs your way as you remember your brother. V x
Mischievious Mum says
Oh Amanda. What a terrible loss. I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family. Much love and best wishes. XOXO
Bec @ The Plumbette says
Sending love your way and happiest thoughts and memories of your brother. Xxx
MrsDplus3 says
Just beautiful. Sending you a big fat hug xxxx
Nourish Nation says
So sorry for your loss. Brothers are special, and always with us. Let some tears flow, x Deb
Grace says
Sending you all my love, Amanda. xxx
claireyhewitt01c says
This sucks. These days suck. People not here when they should, that really is a shit sandwich that no one wants served up. My words won't help you get through today. You know you are the lucky lady that got to have David as your brother, you know how special that is. No one else got to be his sister.
But it's ok to cry sometimes for the holes in your heart that the world makes. It's ok to want things to be different even though you know they can't be.
Be sure to eat the best cake you can today. Cheers to your brother, who sounds like the best of sorts.
Mandy Barbie Bieber Beyond says
Awww lots of love and hugs...It's still his birthday and a special day to remember a special personxx
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
I'm crying too! I'm sending you a big hug. I wish I had words to make it right but I haven't. Happy Birthday, David. xx
Druimé@snippetsandspirits.com says
So sorry you lost your brother way too soon. My heart is aching just reading your words. Love to you.
Bigwords says
So much love to you honey x
Sheridan Anne says
Your brother sounds like one amazing guy and even though his time was cut way too short, it sounds like you all were lucky to have one another while you did.
Sending lots of love and big hugs your way xox
Karin @ Calm to Conniption says
Amanda, a very tough day for you this week. My heart bleeds for you and my eyes are filled with tears. Happy Birthday to David and hope you had a beautiful evening with Bearhands remembering him. x
Lisa says
such a beautiful [post. He sounds like a great guy!
Janice says
David sounds like he was a fun and very caring man. Big hugs, kind thoughts and prayers for you.