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Home » family » the smiling assassin

By Amanda Smyth 4 Comments

the smiling assassin

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This is Emma.

A photo posted by Amanda Smyth (@cookerandalooker) on Aug 10, 2016 at 1:08am PDT

Emma is the Little Sister’s fifth birthday present.

Before Emma came to live with us she’d been living in a small tank on the second story of an apartment complex.
She dined on shredded ham every other day.

Emma grew quickly to a size that belied her tender years.
Emma is five years old. Just like the Little Sister.

After Emma came to live with us, she moved to a new tank.
The tank is twice as big as her old tank.
Her tank is filled with rocks and plants.
Emma now has a UV light and her own private basking platform for when the mood to sunbake strikes.
Emma lives in The Turtle Mahal.

Emma took to her new tank like a turtle to water.
By the end of day 1 she’d done more laps than the entire Australian Olympic Swimming Team combined.
So keen on her swimming, was Emma, that she showed no interest in the fish or crayfish that shared her tank.
Eventually we came to believe that Emma had attended the same self-help meetings as Bruce the shark from Finding Nemo and thought fish were friends, not food.

fish are friends not food

The assembled collection of befriended fish hung like remoras from her shell.
The crayfish lived on her dinner scraps.
Emma’s tank mates seemed to be permanent residents.
I started to buy fish food as well as turtle food.

All was well in the Turtle Mahal.

Then on that fateful Friday, as a reward for brave conduct at the doctor, I promised the Little Sister a trip to the pet shop and another fish.

She chose an orange coloured molly (which the pet shop assistant insisted was a golden lion fin or some rot).
The bonding between the Little Sister and Fishy began immediately.
The Little Sister c a r e f u l l y carried Fishy to the car.bringing home fishy

Twenty minutes later when we’d travelled the fifty meters to the car, the Little Sister held Fishy carefully as we drove home.

Look Fishy, this is our car.
Look Fishy, that is the road.
Look Fishy, that is the sky.

When Fishy listened quietly to every word the Little Sister said without interrupting, their friendship was sealed.

the Little Sister and fishy

Look Fishy, this is our farm.
Look Fishy, this is our house.
Look Fishy, this is Emma’s Tank.

And that, my friends, is where our story takes a sad turn.

It turns out that
Emma the clueless five year old turtle-who-forgot-how-to-turtle is, in fact,
Emma the Hunter.
The Little Sister and Emma

There was much banging and knocking in the tank that night.

The following morning the girls and I watched Emma polish off the last two crayfish in quick succession.
Emma is the smiling assassin.

The End.

ever had a short-lived pet?

 

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Filed Under: family

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Robyna says

    at

    Oh no. But very funny as well. I hope the girls didn’t take it all too badly.

    Reply
    • Amanda Smyth says

      at

      They recovered pretty quickly thanks Robyna. Watching Emma hunt is like having David Attenborough in our dining room, so they made their peace with it pretty quickly! 🙂

      Reply
  2. Emily @ Have A Laugh On Me says

    at

    Nooooooo! She’s just a slow learner obviously. Oh the poor poppet. And yes that is one heck of a tank alright! xx

    Reply

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