There's love in the air at the farm. A pair of owls called back and forth to each other all night.
In the early hours of this morning, I hoped they'd found time to eat - what with all the shouting sweet nothings and lifelong promises at each other across the paddock. Then I remembered you don't need to eat when you're in love.
I lay next to husband and remembered falling in with him. It was fast and intense. Being so happy was terrifying. I kept waiting for the bottom to fall out. He seemed so good, so nice that I was sure there must be something wrong with him, especially seeing he was so into me.
As time went on it became obvious to us and to everyone else that this was it. We were engaged and married in 2007.
It's impossible and abhorrent to me that just forty years prior a couple in America were sentenced to a year in prison because they dared to marry the person they loved.
Mildred Jeter, an African-American girl and Richard Loving, a white boy were in love. So when Mildred fell pregnant in 1958 they travelled to Washington to get hitched because the law in Virginia considered interracial marriage a crime. One night after they’d returned home to Central Point, a small town in Virginia; local police raided their bedroom at midnight. They’d hoped to find the couple fornicating, but they only found them asleep in their marital bed. The Lovings were charged with “cohabiting as man and wife, against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth”.
On January 6, 1959, the Lovings pled guilty and were sentenced to one year in prison, with the sentence suspended for 25 years on condition that the couple leave the state of Virginia. They moved to Columbia.
In 1964 the couple, frustrated by their inability to travel together to visit their families, decided they’d had enough. Mildred wrote to then Attorney General Robert Kennedy and then to the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU). The ACLU filed a motion on behalf of the Lovings which ultimately reached the Supreme Court. Their claim was rejected.
Eventually they appealed the decision and on June 12 1967 the Supreme Court overturned their convictions in a unanimous decision. At the time Chief Justice Earl Warren said "Marriage is one of the "basic civil rights of man," fundamental to our very existence and survival....
There are so many parts of this story that I struggle with....
I cannot imagine having faced this much adversity in a lifetime of marriage, much less the first nine years.
I cannot believe that this occurred in modern memory - that people still thought this way within my Mother’s lifetime.
I cannot fathom that two people, having fallen in love, couldn’t marry because of their appearance.
I'm in disbelief that Richard died eight years later when his car was struck by a drunk driver.
Finally, I'm incredulous that in 2013, same sex couples face the same prejudice that the Lovings fought so hard forty years ago.
After listening to those owls last night and remembering how all-consuming love can be, I've decided go on the record - love is love.
I support marriage equality.
I believe same-sex couples should be able to marry.
In June 2007 on the fortieth anniversary of the Supreme Court's decision Mildred Loving issued a statement:
I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry... I am still not a political person, but I am proud that Richard’s and my name is on a court case that can help reinforce the love, the commitment, the fairness and the family that so many people, black or white, young or old, gay or straight, seek in life. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.
Mildred Loving died in 2008.
I've heard those owls still calling this morning - it appears they've also forgotten they're nocturnal. They're not eating, they're not sleeping - they're screwed. It must be love!
have you ever been in love?
what can you hear from your bedroom window?
not all of my readers will share my views on this issue, that's OK.
fair warning though - I'll delete any comments I consider hateful.
Kim-Marie from Kimba Likes says
If you're committed enough to marry someone, then it should matter what your bits are. In 40 years' time, our children will be looking back the same way we are about the Lovings and thinking "what was wrong with you people?!"
cookerandalooker says
I hope so Kimba!
Keeping Up With The Holsbys says
Right beside you, sister. May the world see sense. The right to love whomever you choose in the most fundamental human right.
May the owls settle into a comfy relationship and give you some sleep soon x
cookerandalooker says
The owls are all good in my book Mrs Holsby, they're welcome company while I spend my nights changing the Big Sister's sheets! 🙂
Lydia C. Lee says
It's odd on so many levels. You would think just the tax implications would be enough to straighten out their (the govt) thinking...but we come so far and are so backward at the same time...
cookerandalooker says
Especially here in Queensland Lydia! Thanks for your comment.
Kim @fallingfacefirst says
I love this post. And I'm with you - love is love. Why are we judging and punishing and imposing from the outside? Pining owls - how romantic.
cookerandalooker says
Thanks Kim. They're gorgeous. I suspect they're mostly randy and I'm being anthropomorphic with the love bit, but most birds mate for life so it could be true!
becc03 says
I share your views. We are all one and the same regardless of colour, religion or what your sexual preference is.
Becc @ Take Charge Now
BOYEATSWORLD says
What a wonderful post. Love is love and given that both homosexuality and marriage are legal, I can't understand why the two things can't be combined. Same sex marriage will become legal, it must, lets just hope it's sooner rather then later. 🙂
cookerandalooker says
I hope so, but Queensland (my home state) seems to be making more backward steps than forward ones! Thanks for commenting.
Carla says
Fabulous post!!! Stories like the Lovings' just seem incredulous. I agree that Love is Love.
Enid Bite'Em says
This is a GREAT post. I'd never heard that story before and I'm glad you shared it - it sounds archaic and yet its recency (that's probably not a word!) is horrific. At least they kept fighting. Injustices like that always need to be fought. How far we still have to go ... (but we'll get there with couples like that!)
cookerandalooker says
I agree Enid - the world needs more couples like the Lovings.
Kylez @ A Study in Contradictions says
I remember those first few weeks and months with Dave, thinking exactly the same thing, waiting for something to go wrong. And it never did. That feeling is one of the best in the world, one that everyone should get the chance to feel.
cookerandalooker says
It is the best feeling isn't it Kylez!
Emily @ Have a laugh on me says
I couldn't agree more, it makes my blood boil to think there are people who are so black and white on who should be allowed to marry. GREAT post, sad story. I fell hard and fast also! xx
cookerandalooker says
Thanks Em - I like to think it's a sad story with a happy ending. xx
Robo says
New love. Fresh love. There's nothing like it.
This story is new to me. Thanks so much for sharing it.
From my bedroom window I can hear birds as well.
I hope winter subdues them just a little, for both of us.
cookerandalooker says
Fingers crossed Robomum!
Beth Mantle says
Ditto, ditto, ditto ALL of these loving, supportive, inclusive words, thoughts and feelings! Another gorgeous post, Amanda 🙂
cookerandalooker says
Thanks Beth. x
Twinkle in the Eye says
Brilliantly constructed post with a wonderful message xo
Twinkle in the Eye says
You're one of this weeks featured flashers over at Twinkle in the Eye 🙂
cookerandalooker says
Really? Fabulous! Thanks Bree. x
robomum says
Loved reading this one again! Such a great post. X
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
Thanks Robo - I thought it was topical given the Green's latest international same-sex marriage bill.
Lydia C. Lee says
I know I commented before, but I really like this post - obviously not the story - but an important reflection on our horrible history and how we keep repeating it, one way or another...
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
Thanks Lydia. Hopefully the Senate agrees to vote on the Greens' latest bill.
mummywifeme says
Love this post. C'mon Queensland get with the program. This is getting embarrassing.
The only thing I'm hearing from my bedroom at the moment is a couple of possums getting on it. They sound so scary!! I'd much rather hear those owls 🙂
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
Randy owls over randy possums any day Mummy Wife Me! 🙂
Ness says
Totally agree. Love is love. I cannot believe it is 2013 and there are still people who think otherwise. Beautiful post.
Sarah @ Slapdash Mama says
Love is love. If people want to share a life together who has the right to stop them? Love this post lovely Amanda x
Rachel says
We have a pair of owls too - and we are practically in Brisbane city! They've come back three years in a row to make a nest in the big trees in our back yard. They are beautiful and we feel very "special" that they have chosen our yard (despite all the unholy racket that comes from our house!).
I am hopeful that we will see recognition of the rights of ALL people to love who they wish, regardless of sex, within my lifetime. I think about how far attitudes have come since I was a teenager and I have faith that we WILL get there. I just hope it happens sooner rather than later.
Thanks for linking up with The Lounge, Amanda. A beautiful post xx
Sarah Mac says
A beautiful post - absolutely loved it!
mummymanifestodotcom says
One of my favourite posts...I am such a romantic I believe we should be allowed to marry who we love regardless. Hopefully, the laws will all change soon..
This Charming Mum says
"...against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth"!! That's just amazing. What a very said story. I hope the owls live happily ever after.
Melissa @ All Around Oz says
A beautiful post....I fell hard and fast for my Mr. I couldn't imagine being told that I couldn't have married him because he was the wrong colour or the wrong sex! Let's get this done Australia #loveislove
Amanda Smyth says
Amen to that Melissa! x