eleven valentines day ideas (that won't make you barf)

Valentines Day means different things to different people.  Hell, it means different things to the same people over time.

Bearhands and I have had our fair share of Valentines ups and downs.  We very nearly broke up one Valentines Day and were engaged a few Valentines Days later. Since the kids were born, we've had failed attempts at Valentines Day. This year will be more a celebration of the Big Sister's obsession with heart-shaped things than our love.

I used a strict set of criteria in choosing what we'll be doing this Valentines Day.  These ideas are not too cheesy, not too messy, not to nauseating and unlikely to make promises I'll have to come good on after the kids go to bed.  Loved-up ladies and fond fellows, here's my ultimate guide to a barf-free Valentines Day:

eleven Valentines Day ideas (that won't make you barf)

We'll start the loving at breakfas and I'll let the girls use a cookie cutter to make a heart-shaped hole in their space-ship egg. 

I'll continue the Valentines theme and make bake heart-shaped bacon for our breakfast.  Bearhands will appreciate the bacon-flavoured irony of risking heart disease by tucking into these delicious heart-shaped bits of swine. 

After breakfast, it's time to swap cards.  This toilet-roll card from Etsy is my pick for Bearhands.

He'll likely have grabbed a card from the servo in a panic on Friday afternoon, but if he was an online shopper, I'm sure he'd have bought this nerdy valentine for me (also from Etsy).

If I'd discovered it in time, I would have sent my blogging bestie Emily this card because she shared this  funny video about resting bitch face few weeks back.  This card is another Etsy treasure, the fact that it's a best seller thrills me!  (Em: consider this a virtual valentine!)

Come 9am the Big Sister will likely be in Valentines overload.  She'll have finished making Daddy his eleventh card and she'll be looking for other loved-up activities.  I'll tell her to tidy her room until she finds her marbles, then we'll make these heart-shaped cupcakes using muffin tins.

That'll keep her amused for a further ten minutes until she requests to paint something.  If I'm feeling very patient (and we have enough newspaper lying around to contain the mess), I might let her make a heart-shaped stamp out of a toilet paper roll.  The genius behind this cute idea is Aussie blogger Danya Banya.  She's such a crafty bird - the total antidote to my DIY disinclination.

I love post-its, but it's entirely unlikely that after cleaning up the paint mess I'll be inclined to make this awesome heart-shaped post-it piñata.  Although I am intrigued as to what you would put inside a Valentines piñata (certainly nothing that would violate the after-the-kids-go-to-bed action selection criteria).

Come eventing, the kids can have these heart-shaped cherry tomatoes for their veggies.

Then I'll throw myself on the grenade and eat the off-cuts, so they can have heart-shaped pepperoni on their pizzas for dinner.

And after they're in bed, Bearhands and I will snuggle up on the couch, bowl of soup in hand and he'll polish off the bowl before I have a chance to point out that I spent ages carving the carrots into little love hearts.

And that, my friends, is how Valentines Day will go down at our place.  If you'd like more info about any of these eleven valentines ideas, you can click the link or the photo.  Now tell me.....

how will you spend Valentines?

what do you suppose you put in a Valentine's Day piñata?