Friday morning started gloriously, I work moments before the Little Sister and watched her yawn, stretch and then remember. She rolled quickly and drew back the blind. The water park was still there!
Mummy, it’s morning time!
We tucked into a buffet breakfast and I introduced the girls to rice bubbles talking cereal: could they hear it? What did it say?
Then the shining aqua jewel in this crowning family holiday morning: encouraged by the warm water and her smiling father, the Little Sister got her swimming mojo back!
She’s been a little fish since I started weekly swimming lessons at six months old, but since her whooping cough she’s been fearful of the water. We suspect it’s because she had so many instances when she couldn’t catch her breath. Once a happily anticipated outing, Tuesday swimming lessons became a weekly battle of wills, which inevitably ended in tears (sometimes mine). I was surprised at just how relieved I was to see her rediscover her love of the water.
Eager to cement her newly-rediscovered love of the water, we returned to the pool that afternoon. The Big Sister had made a bestie quickly and they set about practicing their audition for the 2018 Commonwealth Games Synchronised Swimming Team. The Little Sister & I were floating around the pool on noodles when I realised we weren’t alone.
Obviously we weren’t alone: there were so many children in the pool the water resembled kid soup. I mean, we weren’t the only things floating.
I studied the mass from a distance. Could it be? No, it’s so big. Yes, it is.
Lillian, get out of the poo! There’s a poo in here!
Now my powers aren't often described in biblical proportions, but Moses would have been jealous of how quickly I parted that pool. People went scrambling for the exits, parents called wildly for their children and all this time the big brown floatie just bobbed in the water. A crowd gathered to watch it bob all the way to the skimmer box.
It disappeared just as a lifeguard arrived to see what the commotion was about.
Nets were fetched, children were towelled off, I considered sourcing hospital grade antiseptic in which to bathe my children.
Then the guilty party emerged from the commotion. Now, you’d be forgiven for thinking the excitement had become too much for a toilet training toddler: the lure of the warm sparking water had held the tike too long. You'd be wrong.
The sheepish culprits were two fully grown men. They’d bought a fake floating turd to the resort. The poo was plucked and the pool quickly refilled with families. I’d loved to have had the opportunity to chat crap with them after they’d owned up. How long had it been swimming amongst us before I raised the alarm?
Do fake poos come in different sizes?
Where does one go to purchase such an item?
Paradise Resort on the Gold Coast has been on my sand bucket list for ages. Our weekend didn't disappoint. You can read the lowdown on Paradise Resort here.
Sammie @ The Annoyed Thyroid says
That's a classic! Under the circumstances, I guess that was the best case scenario! That's certainly one way to clear the pool and have it to yourself!
Robyna says
Too funny. I wonder how the conversation precluding them placing said plastic turd in the water went.
mumabulous says
They were re-enacting the movie Caddyshack.
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
I just watched the scene Mumabs - the reaction was exactly like that!
BOYEATSWORLD says
Poo much fun! So glad the Little Sister got her swimming mojo back.:-)
Cindy @Your Kids OT says
Perfect little funny for Monday morning 😉
MrsDplus3 says
Hahaha I not sure when I would have been amused or enraged!! On the flip side high fives to the little sister and her new found water confidence xx
Deborah says
I'd be grumpy but must admit I'd still be kinda relieved it wasn't the real thing!
Muriel says
I did see the funny side but there is a serious side to a situation like this. I attend hydrotherapy in a heated pool at an aged care centre where accidents do happen with the elderly. The work involved in draining and disinfecting the pool area is an enormous task for the staff.
Ed @ The Tunnel says
Thank goodness fake poos (and everything else, including people) have been banned in South East Queensland this week due to the G20. We can all be safe again.
claireyhewitt01 says
Pranksters. They probably pissed themselves laughing...in the pool.
26 Years and Counting says
At least it was fake!
hugzillablog says
Bahhahahhahhahahhaha! That is pranking at it's most magnificent!
Mark Downey - FULLHALFGLASS.COM says
Do they still make the chocolate bar "Chokito?" To the untrained eye they can resemble a brown bottom bullet. Sadly I'm ashamed to say that circa 1984 I released one of these bad boys into the todders pool at Newmarket. The reaction ... just as you've described it
Amanda, Cooker and a Looker says
The offending item was a very good replica Mark. I made the mistake of googling "fake poo" when I got home. I narrowly avoided vomiting on my keyboard!
Have A Laugh On Me says
OH MY GOODNESS that is HILARIOUS! And here was I about to tell you the time when my son was actually the culprit of an actual floater in a friend's community pool, she nearly, I just captured it and pretended nothing had happened! Thanks for linking. x
Jess - Peachy Keen Mumma says
Too funny. I've only had the experience with real poo. As soon as our bodies were immersed in the water the alarm went out that poo was about. NOT fair. If I had just walked in from the change room one minute later I could have been spared. ha! Some men never grow up, do they?
I love your blog. It's beautiful and so well written. Thank you for visiting mine. I shall return ...and go find out on FB now too.